but this isn’t Britain… DIS IST DIE AUTOBAHN!

Eazy cum, Eazy go.

and found a LOT of shit. And some quite cool stuff. A lot of memories were brought back (old school reports, presents from ex-girlfriends, my first trip to the Junction!), but one of the things which amused me the most was my End of Sixth Form Year Book Questionnaire which I never handed in. Though ripped to shreds, I can still see most of the answers, and thought I’d share it, if just for my own future reference. So to quote a great man, AWWW, HERE IT GOES!

2009 Year Book Questionnaire

Name: Thomas Rooney

Tutor Group: 13PY

DOB: 17/02/1991

School Subjects: Psychology, Drama, Philosophy

Plans for next year: College

Middle Name: Lewis

Nickname: The Southern Dandy

Favourite

Colour: Red

Drink (non-alcoholic): Milk

Drink (Alcoholic): Carlsberg

Food: Pizza

Animal: Dog

Film: Back to the Future

TV Programme: The Jeremy Kyle Show

Board Game: Monopoly

Male Celebrity: John Lennon

Female Celebrity: Graham Norton

Teacher: Anyone but Pyburn

Phrase: “THUGZ 4 LIFE”

Mr. Men/Little Miss Character: Mr. Tickle

Kids TV Programme: Ed, Edd ‘N’ Eddy

Celebrity Crush: Queen Elizabeth II

Hobby: Zorbing

Pizza Topping: Pepperoni, Pork

Ice-cream Flavour: Cookie Dough

Crisp Flavour: Paprika

Shop: Topman

Disney Film: Aladdin

Disney Character: The one who shot Bambi’s mum

Chocolate: Mozart’s Balls (Look it up, I’m not a pervert)

Band/Artist: Arctic Monkeys

Song: Never Gonna Give You Up

Number: 101 [NOTE: I seem to remember a rejected answer for this question being 9/11]

Book: A Clockwork Orange

Sport: Football

Word: LOL

Football Team: Not Liverpool

Car: Shaguar

Holiday Destination: Iraq

Celebrity you’d most like to be: Barack Obama

Student in our year you’d most like to be: Mark “Nutter” Thomas

Your Childhood Dream: To overthrow the government

Dream Job: Willy Wonka’s job

Place you’d most like to visit: Staines

Person you’d most want to meet: Jimmy Carr

If you ruled the world for the day what would be your first rule: I’d bring back the death penalty.

Superhero Power you would most like: The ability to give an orgasm by pointing at someone [NOTE: Didn’t Russell Howard make this joke on Mock the Week? FUCK MY LIFE]

If you were invisible where would you go: Prison, eventually

What colour is your toothbrush: I don’t even know anymore

Another random fact about yourself: I spent an hour in Tesco’s cereal aisle looking for a box of ‘Credit Crunch’.

Funny fucker, wasn’t I? As a final note, I also found my end of Year 13 award certificate, for the ‘Mr. Foulmouth Award’. THANKS A LOT YOU FUCKING CUNTS.

mainly because I have nothing to say/nothing I’m going to talk about on here. I finished my last exam last week, which means the world is now my oyster, for the summer at least! Been listening to a shitstorm of Beastie Boys, The Doors, Arctic Monkeys and, obviously, the Beatles for the last few weeks. I’ll write a proper entry on this soon, kthxbi every1!

it’s a fuckin’ long’un! pretty good song though.

Then you might also enjoy Jason Derulo and Chipmunk.

I understand that might sound condescending and musically fascist, but let’s be honest, anyone offended by this has better things to do… Jeremy Kyle starts at 1.30 on ITV2, doesn’t it?

On a related note, how do Jason Derulo and Chipmunk make money from touring? Most of their fans are on benefits, aren’t they?

must be a great job, cause I don’t know what the return policy is on a bad trim. I dunno about you (and this is mainly aimed at blokes), but even when I get a terrible haircut, I still thank them and pay the eight quid like the submissive guy I am.

So yeah, I now look like a bit of a pikey. Good news is, the University of East London emailed me about an open day this morning, so I’m sure I’ll fit in fine there if I decide to go.

For The Ricky Gervais Show… The pictures are taken from my scanner and the colour quality is terrible.

Audio can be found at 0:46-1:00.

So I was (ironically) making some cheese on toast earlier when I caught a glimpse of one of my mum’s magazines left on my kitchen counter. On the front cover was a picture of Dawn French with the quote ‘I’m proud of my body… I choose to be fat’ underneath. Is she actually encouraging obesity? Wikipedia says: ‘Obesity increases the likelihood of various diseases, particularly heart disease, type 2 diabetes, breathing difficulties during sleep, certain types of cancer, and osteoarthritis. Obesity is most commonly caused by a combination of excessive dietary calories, lack of physical activity, and genetic susceptibility, although a few cases are caused primarily by genes, endocrine disorders, medications or psychiatric illness.’ Now I’m all for people standing up to prejudice and bullying, but to ‘choose’ to be fat? If a pop star went ‘I’m a chain smoker and proud!’, I’m pretty sure they’d be condemned for it. So when Dawn makes a statement which might inadvertently send someone into cardiac arrest, why should she get a pat on the back for it? She might want to take a leaf out of Charlie Sheen’s book, who’s winning TV at the moment - hell, at least he’s encouraging healthy eating!

Charlie Sheen’s Winning Recipes from Charlie Sheen

Long live Charlie Sheen! I’ll give him till next week.

I’m yet to listen to it, but I imagine it’s about a boy.